SO I GET HOME AND THERE’S THIS RANDOM KID ON MY COUCH AND HE’S LIKE ‘ALRIGHT MAN I DON’T WANNA HURT U JUST PUT UR STUFF DOWN AND GET ON THE GROUND I JUST WANT UR MONEY’ AND I FUCKIN ALMOST PUKED I WAS LIKE “OMG PLS NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY I’M ONLY 15” THEN HE WAS LIKE “NAH MAN I’M JUST FUCKIN WITH U I’M UR BROTHER’S FRIEND HE’S IN THE SHOWER I’M JUST WAITIN FOR HIM”
we were in the car and my dad was all like “if all the other kids jumped off a bridge would you” and I was like “yeah cause there’d be a huge pile of bodies to land on” and he starting choking and almost swerved off the road
no matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s i’m still gonna eat it
[AGGRESSIVELY THROWS OSCARS AT THE ENTIRE SPN CAST]
I’m so sorry.
quick, Leo, catch one